Finding yourself in Baltimore

For eight amazing years I have been a wife. For 4 blessed years I have been a Mom. I can not thank God enough for my husband and my children. I would die for them in a second. I have cried tears of joy for them and I have cried tears hurting for them. I love them more than words could describe.

I have discussed how stressful at times it being a police wife, military wife and Mom all while working and keeping the household. I have realized that life can be heavy at times. As a wife and Mom I have responsibilities. I get to shape two lives and hope that I don't mess up. I am blessed to get to wash stains out of tiny clothes, clean the toilet of a growing boy and play with the curls of a precious girl. I know how blessed I am. No one has to tell me how fortunate I am to have a husband who works so many hours to provide for us. His job is to not only provide for his family but to protect our community, state and nation. I am proud of him. I love my life and my family.

When Justin told me about being picked to go NAGUS (National Guard Association of the United States) I was so happy. To my surprise spouses get to go also. I was so excited to have a few days in a new city. We planned and got scheduled to go. I was so excited. Justin informed me he would have meetings during the day and that I would get to do whatever I wanted during the day.....WHATEVER I WANTED....that has not happened...well in years.

When we arrived I was already so excited to explore and see the city up close and personal. I got Justin's schedule and from there figured out that I truly would get time for myself. On Saturday I woke up to breakfast that Justin had gotten for me and was pumped to get the day started. I ate went and talked to some of the other wives, grabbed a coffee my camera and hit the road. I had no idea where I was going or what I was going to do but I walked and walked and walked. For the first time in a long time I was just Tiffany. I had almost forgotten what that felt like. No one needed a single thing from me and it was liberating. I was able to walk at my own pace. I got to witness a row boating event, amazing street art and found some historical sites. I had no idea what was at the next curve and my excitement was through the roof. I took pictures and people watched.  After realizing I had walked about 7 miles I went to the hotel and relaxed. I realized then how important it is to not lose yourself. I had lost the Tiffany in myself. I realized that my Tiffany spark was dim and needed to be relit. As spouses and parents we need to care for ourselves also. We have to take a step back sometimes....it needs to be more than a grocery store trip alone or driving to or from work alone. Each person needs time to themselves. It needs to be longer than nap time or at bed time. This trip helped me be Tiffany.


Justin and I got to go to dinner with some people we had met and had fun talking about life. We walked home and talked and acted silly. It was so needed. We ended the night calling the hogs in victory!

Roy boating was so fun!! I love how it was a charity event! 

 

I loved walking the shore! 

Art was everywhere! This was so beautiful! 

I met this sweet lady while helping her cross the street. She has to walk so far to pick her prescriptions up. She said she does take a taxi...sometimes.  

 

The next day I got up early again. I went to the hospitality room. (A room that Arkansas NAGUS members got for AR people to hang out in, chat and eat). I hit the ground running and explored some more. I got to witness a beautiful 9/11 memorial and pay respect. I walked to Little Italy which I loved so so much. The homes are so fun and cute. The smells of delicious foods wafted through a the streets. I think this may have been my favorite spot of the whole city. I realized on this day that so many homeless ask for food instead of money. I decided to carry some chips or crackers with me for the ones who asked. My heart breaks for the homeless and I feel a need to help in any ways I can. People are people no matter their status and sometimes one nice person can change a persons life but more on that another time.
That night we went to a fun function with all of the SEC states at the Hard Rock. It was loud, fun and hilarious.

The 9/11 memorial. Touching and beautiful.

The steel beams that was apart of the twin towers.

I LOVED little Italy. It was cozy, cute and smelled great!

I mean how cute are these!!

I love old buildings and this church was top notch it beauty.

 

 

 By the last day I was exhausted from walking 10 miles a day and my feet hurt. I only went out for a little while. I found Poes grave which was so cool. A piece of history right in front of me. The cemetery was old and full of history. So much death and life all rolled into one. The trees full of leaves and vines with bright green leaves climbing the grounds. It was a beautiful morning. Then I went to watch Trump speak which was ummm....interesting. My favorite part was going outside and seeing the protesters. I immediately crossed the street to be in the middle of the protest and see it up close. So many people protesting so many things. I loved the passion. Some for Trump some against. Some black lives matter and some all lives matter. Some just protesting what they believe. It was amazing. I felt so alive. I realized then that the news does not show this type of protests. It was peaceful. People in conversations that you could see the intensity of both sides yet no violence. Each person respecting the man beside them. I realized then that America is not as bad as the media describes.

Justin and I then went to eat some of the best sushi ever.
We ended the night at the formal states dinner. It was fun talking to everyone and enjoying a great meal. Plus its always fun to dress fancy.

How cool is this. School kids would collect pennies to raise money for his grave. Now people will put pennies on his grave. The money goes to keeping the grounds.

So much life in a site that is for the dead.

 

Loved getting dressed up and having a night out with Justin. So fun!

I was so excited to come home and see the kids. I missed them so much but I came home a new and improved version of myself. I learned that I can not let myself go. I have to remember that God made to be a wife, Mom and Tiffany. I learned that a husband and wife need more time together than just when the kids go to bed at night. I learned that to be a happy wife and mom I need to be a happy Tiffany. It was  trip I will forever hold near to my heart.  Never lose your self. Always know how blessed you. Never lose your light.
xo-Tiffany