1. You will be tired.....for many days and nights. It does get better...at least that is what I keep telling myself.
2. Do NOT let fear run your life. To many times we as parents see a runny nose, cough, fever and research all the horrible things that our children may have....(but they dont). I feel fear is a huge problem with parenting in todays society. We do so much research on how to be a perfect parent instead of just sitting down and playing with our children. We are to afraid to let them climb. We dont want them to run to quickly. They may fall. We dont want them to go without shoes outside in the summer. They may cut their foot. We dont want them to climb a tree. They may fall and break an arm. Its like we as parents want our children to sit in a bubble and not explore the world they will one day help run.
I have learned alot from working at a pediatric clinic about the kind of parent I strive to be. When Jax falls I say "safe" and allow him to get up on his own and go on with life. When Jax screams because he wants something he doesnt need (at home) I turn around and walk the other way. When I hear him cry I dont sprint to see why. When we go to the park I let him climb and go down the slide by himself. I try to show him that life is not something to be afraid of, that its a new adventure everyday. So far it has worked. He wants to go down the tallest slides, he doesnt care about water in face or eyes, he runs with the big kids and so far he has turned out to be all boy and fearless. And a little stubborn.
A very smart man I know once said "Parents need to put the books about parenting down and just play and love on their baby"
3.Date nights are crucial to a marriage. Before Jusitn and I became parents we went out ALOT. Every weekend was a date night. Dinner, movies, day trips. I like to say that we took advantage of the freedom to do whatever we wanted. I dont know how we did everything we did because looking back we did not have much money. We ALWAYS had our bills paid but I dont know where the extra cash came from lol. I guess God blessed us. When we found out I was pregnant with Jax we knew that date nights would become rare. However i did not know how rare they would become. We do go out but a lot of times its is planned group outtings. We do not get to go out just us very often. We are very blessed to have family to watch Jax and are willing to. Over the last few months Justins schedule has been strange so our date nights have been even more rare. This past Saturday we went to a nice dinner just the two of us. It was so nice to eat a meal out without feeling rushed or having to get it to go becuase Jax is to impatient to wait for us to be done. It was nice to not have to worry about making him sit down and wondering what to order our piglet of an eater. We got to sit and just talk and enjoy eachothers company. Every couple with children need a date night with just the two of them. It will make you realize how great your marriage is each time you have one and how important that time really is.
4.Telling your child no is really a good thing. Jax is a very spirited little boy. He likes to push limits and sometimes listening is just to hard for him. I have learned that telling him "no" is not what he likes to be told. It is ok. Children get mad when they dont get what they want. They will however get over it. And they will learn that they dont control every aspect of life. They can do that when they are an adult. But as parents we want to give our children everything and we want to make sure that they dont go without. We want to protect them from everything so we to often allow them to do whatever they want and get whatever they want. What will happen when they are an adult and at work get told no. They will have to accept it. Jax gets told no A LOT. Now his favorite thing to do is to tell others "no boss' because we tell him not to be bossy. He hasnt gotten it yet.
5. Routine is key. From day one we created a routine that has been apart of Jaxs life. Routines are great. Everyday is the same. Bed time is 8. No later expect when we are not home. We do have lives and sometimes not getting home until late is what happens. After dinner he gets a bath almost everynight. (he is a very messy eater) and then its lotion and pj time. Every night. Then its time to play for a bit then relax. We have clean up time for his toys and stuff then He lays down at 8 we read a book (the same one for weeks) and he fights it everynight and everynight we never cave in and he is asleep all night. He is so into his routine that when he is out of it he just is not a happy camper. He does not do well with change. Routine. Routine. Routine. We as parents decide how the should go not by how our children want the day to go. Routine is key. Im telling you its crucial.
6.Letting them cry is alright. Crying is natural. When Jax fights sleep I let him cry. He crys for a few and passes out. When he was a baby about 6 months old i decided that he really needed to start sleeping through the night so i slowly took away feedings and when he thought he was so hungry I let him cry and in 1 week he stopped waking up at all. If it was still up to him he would still be getting up to get food, the boy loves to eat.
7. The thing that I have learned most about is that being a parent is hard but is so worth it. I make the last 6 points look like I am a hard mom who lets her child climb high and is wildly strict. I do discipline, time outs and a smack bottom for when he really acts out but I hug and kiss the boy so much he runs when I ask for a kiss now. I learned with Justin being gone for military training a lot during Jaxs first year being a Mom is hard. It is draining and at the end of the day you just want to crash. Being a parent is the hardest job out there but it is the one job that is so worth every difficult day.
I will say I have become very good at chase, hide and seek, throwing rocks in the creek, playing monster, singing the batman song (Jax LOVES bat man). I have become an expert at coloring on boxs, and hiding the cat from being tortured. I have learned how to wipe a nose so quickly and to cut finger nails on a wiggly hand. I have gotten pretty good at butterfly kisses, our bedtime must have. I can do the finger swipe like no other from so many times Jax has choked. (He eats like a pig and wont chew). I can cuddle on the couch and watch the same movies over and over and over again like a champ. I learned that pancakes are almost a must have in the mornings and captain crunch is the best cereal every....but only the berries (he throws the rest on the floor once the berries are gone).
The one thing that I didnt have to learn over the last almost 2 years. That the love I have for Jax and soon to be baby girl is unconditional and grows stronger everyday. I tell Jax everynight that he will always be my baby boy, even when hes 50. Love for others is a strong and beautiful thing, The love of a child is the strongest and most beautiful and puriest thing of all.
