Embarking on new life

As I sit here 39 weeks pregnant knowing that I will be going to the hospital in just hours to be induced to meet our sweet baby girl, I am an emotional wreck. An excited emotional wreck.

For the past 2 weeks all I have thought about is having this baby. Wanting to meet her. Wanting to see my family as a family of 4 not just 3. I have walked, swam, done yoga, ate spicy foods. Many things to try and meet her. But as it is just around the corner my heart is so afraid.

For the past 2 years I have had a baby. A baby boy named Jax. He has been my light. We have played endless hours of batman, block building, reading, running around, chasing him outside. He has been everything to Justin and I. And now it will all change. In a blink of an eye.

God has blessed me with easy pregnancies. I truly am blessed. Not only that I have had easy pregnancies but that he has blessed me with having babies at all.  I sat in the chairs at church, the same ones I sit in now, and I prayed and poured my heart out that God would bless us with a Daughter. My promise was that I would give her back to him, that I would raise her in a home where God is most important. He delivered and then some. I have felt great. I have done things as normal for myself like always. I even painted my toes tonight....not easily but I did it. This pregnancy has been way different though. The past couple of weeks I have felt more pressure than I ever did with Jax. I had a week of bad sleep...I know i cant complain. Its still overwhelming knowing that a tiny human that has been apart of your body will be out and in your arms anytime. Again, God is so good.

How do I feel?

Im nervous. How will Jax respond? I know he will be confused for a few days, I also know that he will love his baby sister so much once he realizes what and who she is.
Im nervous. I have loved Aria since the moment I knew she was apart of me, but its crazy to think that I can love 2 children as much as I love Jax. When I first felt her move my love grew so much for her. It is still crazy to think that a heart has enough love for a husband, and 2 babies.
Im nervous. I know it will be so much harder with 2 than with 1. I know I can and will do it but man am I already wondering how parents of multiple babies have any routine.

Im excited. Finally all the wonder of what will she look like. How big is she? Will she have hair? Will she look like her brother? It will all be answered. All in a blink of an eye all the questions have been wondering for so long will be answered. Man God is good.
Im excited. I will not only have a wild boys boy, but a tiny little princess girl. How lucky am I.
Im excited.

I pray she grows to be humble, smart, and tough. I pray she knows just how much her family loves her. I pray she Loves god above all else.

Well its time for a night of restless sleep, and time for me to go and give Jax a million kisses and get teary while i check on him sleeping (again) Next time I write I will be a mother of 2.....how crazy is that!