When 3 turned into 4

The night before I went in to have Aria was the last time that I wrote. I was nervous, excited and utterly terrified of what life would be like.

So let me tell you. Life is beyond grand. Tiring but grand.

That night before was one of the toughest nights of sleep I have had. I tossed and turned. My mind racing in a million different places. When my alarm went off I jumped up and was ready to go. Christie came and stayed with Jax so he didnt have to get up so early. Away we went to get to Mercy at 6:00 am.

When we pulled in my heart just was overjoyed. I was so ready to meet my sweetpea. The induction process was routine and shortly my water got broken. The wait begain. My contractions started to get stronger and this time I knew better than to try and wait them out. I quickly got and epidural and life was so pleasant. We waited some more. Family and friends came and sat. When I hit a 6 it got much quicker.

I became very nervous. My first delivery was long hard and to be frank very scary. I was so worried that it would be a repeat of last time. Then boom I was ready. We decided not to have anyone in the room but staff. Last time it was so dramatic and fast we didnt really get to take in Jax. I wanted to really just spend a few minutes enjoying just the three of us. Once the pushing started it was easy! Yes I said EASY. A dream come true. I actually laughed and we all told stories and joked around. When they said she had dark hair I started to cry. I have always wanted a dark haired girl, a baby that looks more like my dad. I knew my parents where smiling down on us. They would love her so much!  Everything was so smooth. AT 5:55pm Aria Lee Thomas came into the world. Of course my heart grew so much more in love with her. She was perfect and oh so tiny. At 6 lb 15 oz she rocked our world. Perfect in every way. God is so so good.

Then family came in and when I saw Jax round that corner wearing his Big Brother shirt I lost it. He looked huge. He has loved his baby sister fromt he moment he laid eyes on her. He sat by me and just looked at her and had the biggest smile on his face. When she got picked up out of my lap he told them to put her back. Already so protective.

We went home the next day. Jax stayed with mimi and pop so we could try and get things in order and maybe rest.
The next day he came home and when he held her it made my heart smile. When I took her to nurse her Jax cried and cried.

It has been almost 4 weeks since we have been a family of 4. Jax still loves her. He helps so much (sometimes too much) He loves to help me burp her. And tells her its ok when she cries. He does get annoyed sometimes and tells me to put her down (in the swing) when I am nursing her and he wants to play. He also does not like when she sits in his nap nanny or when she is crying for more than just a few seconds.

Sleep was pretty rough at first. She is very gassy and her belly hurts often. She has started to get into the groove of things. Eating alot before bed and going to bed at about 830 and lately not waking up until close to 1:00 am. She then eats and either goes right back to sleep or has a belly ache, it changes nightly. Then she normally wakes 5-6am. So all in all very well.

We are blessed beyond measure. I am starting to get the hang of handing both by myself while Justin works and is at drill. We actually went out today for most of the day and it went so smooth. To have two amazing babies is beyond a blessing. I cant take the credit at all. It is all God. To sit with Aria in my arms in the same chairs that I prayed for her is the best feeling.

Embarking on new life

As I sit here 39 weeks pregnant knowing that I will be going to the hospital in just hours to be induced to meet our sweet baby girl, I am an emotional wreck. An excited emotional wreck.

For the past 2 weeks all I have thought about is having this baby. Wanting to meet her. Wanting to see my family as a family of 4 not just 3. I have walked, swam, done yoga, ate spicy foods. Many things to try and meet her. But as it is just around the corner my heart is so afraid.

For the past 2 years I have had a baby. A baby boy named Jax. He has been my light. We have played endless hours of batman, block building, reading, running around, chasing him outside. He has been everything to Justin and I. And now it will all change. In a blink of an eye.

God has blessed me with easy pregnancies. I truly am blessed. Not only that I have had easy pregnancies but that he has blessed me with having babies at all.  I sat in the chairs at church, the same ones I sit in now, and I prayed and poured my heart out that God would bless us with a Daughter. My promise was that I would give her back to him, that I would raise her in a home where God is most important. He delivered and then some. I have felt great. I have done things as normal for myself like always. I even painted my toes tonight....not easily but I did it. This pregnancy has been way different though. The past couple of weeks I have felt more pressure than I ever did with Jax. I had a week of bad sleep...I know i cant complain. Its still overwhelming knowing that a tiny human that has been apart of your body will be out and in your arms anytime. Again, God is so good.

How do I feel?

Im nervous. How will Jax respond? I know he will be confused for a few days, I also know that he will love his baby sister so much once he realizes what and who she is.
Im nervous. I have loved Aria since the moment I knew she was apart of me, but its crazy to think that I can love 2 children as much as I love Jax. When I first felt her move my love grew so much for her. It is still crazy to think that a heart has enough love for a husband, and 2 babies.
Im nervous. I know it will be so much harder with 2 than with 1. I know I can and will do it but man am I already wondering how parents of multiple babies have any routine.

Im excited. Finally all the wonder of what will she look like. How big is she? Will she have hair? Will she look like her brother? It will all be answered. All in a blink of an eye all the questions have been wondering for so long will be answered. Man God is good.
Im excited. I will not only have a wild boys boy, but a tiny little princess girl. How lucky am I.
Im excited.

I pray she grows to be humble, smart, and tough. I pray she knows just how much her family loves her. I pray she Loves god above all else.

Well its time for a night of restless sleep, and time for me to go and give Jax a million kisses and get teary while i check on him sleeping (again) Next time I write I will be a mother of 2.....how crazy is that!

Time stand still

As I left Jax's 2 year check I realized how lucky blessed I truly am. He stood on the scale and got his height with no fighting or struggle. That is a huge thing for a 2 year old. I left feeling relieved getting answers to questions that first time parents ask a hundred times I'm sure. Like when to potty train, when to stop sippy cup, worrying about things like hitting and discipline. Its nice to hear that you are doing things correctly and on target. No matter how much you think you are doing well its always nice to hear it from a professional. Thanks Dr. Furlow!


On another note- as I sit here 33 weeks pregnant I am realizing everyday that I'm so so excited to meet, hold and love Aria but I so want time to slow down. My lap is getting bigger, and harder for Jax to sit on and chasing him is getting harder. I cant play rough like he so wants to do. My time with JUST my baby boy is ending and although I am so so excited I'm sad at the same time. When Justin works its just Jax and I and we have some good times. Almost every night we go on a short walk with just us. We talk about the birds, pick flowers and pick up sticks to drag along side the stroller. We feed the dogs together, he always feeds Zoey and does such a good job. He tells her to sit and puts the food in her bowl and yells at her to eat lol. We then love to water the plants together. Tonight was extra fun we got the hose and watered the big plants and the joy he got from helping hold the hose was such a great sight. I'm so thankful he has a helpful heart. He loved running under the water while I sprayed. All while puppy Poko chased him. It was picture perfect, and a sight I will forever hold in my heart. We then watered the plants in the front which he did all by himself. After chores are done he relaxes while I do some house work. Its days like today that make me want to pause time for just a little while. Every night he wants to read a Thomas book and every night I read it. I know that one day he wont want me to read to him and tucking him in will be so baby like. I try to remind myself that no matter how tired I am or how long of a day I have had to always read and tuck him in. Soon it will be mainly daddy doing bed time for awhile while I am with baby sister.

I will say that my prayers are being answered everyday when I watch Jax. His heart is so helpful and no matter how hard headed he is he is beyond loving. I can not wait to see him protect and love his baby sister it brings so much joy just thinking about it. I will also cherish every moment with him that I can before her arrival. Justin and I are so so blessed and can not thank God enough for the blessings in our life.

                                              

Mothers Day

So I know it has been FOREVER since my last post but I have been busy with my little man and getting life ready for baby Aria to arrive. (Nursery is almost done)



When I was little my dad would take me to walmart (usually the saturday before mothers day) to pick my mom out a gift and card. I remember the joy I felt with being able to pick out the gift all by myself. I remember trying to think of something really nice to say in the card, because I knew I was not always the most well behaved child and wanted to make it up somehow lol. No matter how silly the gift was my mom always said how much she loved it.

I miss being able to pick the traditional  mothers day gifts for her. A purse that I thought was sooo cute when in reality no grown women would actually buy it for themselves. An overly corny necklace or braclet. I miss those days. I never thought as a little girl that they would be over so quickly.

Even  though my mom may not be here physcially I always know she is watching over me and I can still feel her in my heart. I do have some amazing women to celebrate on mothers day. I will do a post sometime on how special these women are to me.

This was  my second mothers day as a mom myself and I cant tell you how precious that day really is. Its a day that I am thanked for something that I love being. Yes its hard sometimes (or a lot of the time) I mean having an almost 2 year old is very tiring. For example at the moment he is running around half naked with his blanket yelling for a popsicle that he has been told no about getting. No matter how hard it is though it is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Two years ago on this day was Mothers Day and I was in the hospital hoping this little bundle of joy would be coming anytime....he decided that holding off one more day was best. He has always been stubborn lol. I remember having so much excitement and so much fear for what was to come. He stole my heart the second I laid eyes on his sweet face. And from May 14th at 10:17am on I was mom to a blue eyed blonde haired baby boy and its been the best job in the world.

Spring Foward

Spring foward for some is just a day that your brain thinks it has lost an hour. Just a day that means the sun is up just a little longer. For some, spring foward is a week of adjusting and making sure you train yourself to go to bed even you are not ready.

For me spring foward is a glorious time. It is memories of late evenings chasing lightning bugs, riding my bike up and down the street, hanging out under the one lane bridge catching tadpoles, playing hide and seek with my cousins. Its a time when if I was out just late enough and I saw my moms van coming to look for me...i knew it was not good. A time when as a kid i could play outside for soooo much longer. It meant school was coming to an end and that summer is just ahead. I loved this time change. It meant freedom.

As I got older it became a time when hanging with friends driving around the back roads just becuase was fun. A time that the snow cone shack was THE place to go. It meant that bikinis would soon be out and late night swimming and a tan was just around the corner. It was a time of freedom. A time when I could just sit outside and soak up the sun until it made its way down. The coldness of winter drawing a close and high school was almost done.

Now I see it as an amzing time to be able to actually play with Jax after work outside. I see it as a time to get my running shoes on so i can chase him all over the yard and the park. Its a time when rocks get put in pockets and pushing the yellow and orange car is a breath of fresh air. Dirt becomes a way of life, and even more of a reason to have a kiddie pool in the summer. It is a time when I start planning the garden and figuring out how to make the landscape pretty. Its a closeness to nature and a feeling of warmth spreads throughout the weeks. Its a time when we dust of the grill and get tons of corn on the cob....because who doesnt love grilled corn on the cob. Its the time for baseball, and late nights under the lights of the field. Its a time of picnics and hiking the green woods. Its the feeling of perfection.

It makes me so happy to see the sun at 6:00pm still shining and lending its warmth. It makes me realize just how much I have missed it.  Dont get me wrong I love a good snow day but spring and summer is the best. I love the fact that Jax is playing on some of the same land that I have so many memories on. I cant wait to watch him make memories in the spring and summer light. This spring and summer is going to be the best yet.

And I already am not looking foward to fall back.
So go outside, enjoy the sun, bask in its glow and make tons of memories.

Things I have learned as a parent.

1. You will be tired.....for many days and nights. It does get better...at least that is what I keep telling myself.

2. Do NOT let fear run your life. To many times we as parents see a runny nose, cough, fever and research all the horrible things that our children may have....(but they dont). I feel fear is a huge problem with parenting in todays society. We do so much research on how to be a perfect parent instead of just sitting down and playing with our children. We are to afraid to let them climb. We dont want them to run to quickly. They may fall. We dont want them to go without shoes outside in the summer. They may cut their foot. We dont want them to climb a tree. They may fall and break an arm. Its like we as parents want our children to sit in a bubble and not explore the world they will one day help run.
I have learned alot from working at a pediatric clinic about the kind of parent I strive to be. When Jax falls I say "safe" and allow him to get up on his own and go on with life. When Jax screams because he wants something he doesnt need (at home) I turn around and walk the other way. When I hear him cry I dont sprint to see why. When we go to the park I let him climb and go down the slide by himself. I try to show him that life is not something to be afraid of, that its a new adventure everyday. So far it has worked. He wants to go down the tallest slides, he doesnt care about water in face or eyes, he runs with the big kids and so far he has turned out to be all boy and fearless. And a little stubborn.

A very smart man I know once said "Parents need to put the books about parenting down and just play and love on their baby"

3.Date nights are crucial to a marriage. Before Jusitn and I became parents we went out ALOT. Every weekend was a date night. Dinner, movies, day trips. I like to say that we took advantage of the freedom to do whatever we wanted. I dont know how we did everything we did because looking back we did not have much money. We ALWAYS had our bills paid but I dont know where the extra cash came from lol. I guess God blessed us. When we found out I was pregnant with Jax we knew that date nights would become rare. However i did not know how rare they would become. We do go out but a lot of times its is planned group outtings. We do not get to go out just us very often. We are very blessed to have family to watch Jax and are willing to. Over the last few months Justins schedule has been strange so our date nights have been even more rare. This past Saturday we went to a nice dinner just the two of us. It was so nice to eat a meal out without feeling rushed or having to get it to go becuase Jax is to impatient to wait for us to be done. It was nice to not have to worry about making him sit down and wondering what to order our piglet of an eater. We got to sit and just talk and enjoy eachothers company. Every couple with children need a date night with just the two of them. It will make you realize how great your marriage is each time you have one and how important that time really is.

4.Telling your child no is really a good thing. Jax is a very spirited little boy. He likes to push limits and sometimes listening is just to hard for him. I have learned that telling him "no" is not what he likes to be told. It is ok. Children get mad when they dont get what they want. They will however get over it. And they will learn that they dont control every aspect of life. They can do that when they are an adult. But as parents we want to give our children everything and we want to make sure that they dont go without. We want to protect them from everything so we to often allow them to do whatever they want and get whatever they want. What will happen when they are an adult and at work get told no. They will have to accept it. Jax gets told no A LOT. Now his favorite thing to do is to tell others "no boss' because we tell him not to be bossy. He hasnt gotten it yet.

5. Routine is key. From day one we created a routine that has been apart of Jaxs life. Routines are great. Everyday is the same. Bed time is 8. No later expect when we are not home. We do have lives and sometimes not getting home until late is what happens. After dinner he gets a bath almost everynight. (he is a very messy eater) and then its lotion and pj time. Every night. Then its time to play for a bit then relax. We have clean up time for his toys and stuff then He lays down at 8 we read a book (the same one for weeks) and he fights it everynight and everynight we never cave in and he is asleep all night. He is so into his routine that when he is out of it he just is not a happy camper. He does not do well with change. Routine. Routine. Routine. We as parents decide how the should go not by how our children want the day to go. Routine is key. Im telling you its crucial.

6.Letting them cry is alright. Crying is natural. When Jax fights sleep I let him cry. He crys for a few and passes out. When he was a baby about 6 months old i decided that he really needed to start sleeping through the night so i slowly took away feedings and when he thought he was so hungry I let him cry and in 1 week he stopped waking up at all. If it was still up to him he would still be getting up to get food, the boy loves to eat.

7. The thing that I have learned most about is that being a parent is hard but is so worth it. I make the last 6 points look like I am a hard mom who lets her child climb high and is wildly strict. I do discipline, time outs and a smack bottom for when he really acts out but I hug and kiss the boy so much he runs when I ask for a kiss now. I learned with Justin being gone for military training a lot during Jaxs first year being a Mom is hard. It is draining and at the end of the day you just want to crash. Being a parent is the hardest job out there but it is the one job that is so worth every difficult day.

I will say I have become very good at chase, hide and seek, throwing rocks in the creek, playing monster, singing the batman song (Jax LOVES bat man). I have become an expert at coloring on boxs, and hiding the cat from being tortured. I have learned how to wipe a nose so quickly and to cut finger nails on a wiggly hand. I have gotten pretty good at butterfly kisses, our bedtime must have. I can do the finger swipe like no other from so many times Jax has choked. (He eats like a pig and wont chew). I can cuddle on the couch and watch the same movies over and over and over again like a champ. I learned that pancakes are almost a must have in the mornings and captain crunch is the best cereal every....but only the berries (he throws the rest on the floor once the berries are gone).

The one thing that I didnt have to learn over the last almost 2 years. That the love I have for Jax and soon to be baby girl is unconditional and grows stronger everyday. I tell Jax everynight that he will always be my baby boy, even when hes 50. Love for others is a strong and beautiful thing, The love of a child is the strongest and most beautiful and puriest thing of all.

Jax

I will never forget the day that I found out I was expecting my first baby. I was so excited, scared and in total shock. I remember going to the store and getting a box of 3 more tests just to be sure. All 3 came back positive within seconds. I was wide eyed and already crazy in love with the little human growing inside of me.

I couldnt wait to tell Justin. I made a book of our love story, (which I will tell our love story another time) he got home from working out and I gave him his gift. He was so excited.

The first few weeks all I could do was research and be terrified of everything that could go wrong. All the things I was not supposed to eat, drink or do. I was a nervous wreck. I couldnt wait to go to the doctor to hear the heart beat.

Justin had signed up to serve in the Army National Guard so I knew that the next 3 months while he was away was going to be so scary, lonely, and the only time I had ever been by myself. It gave me peace knowing that I was growing a perfect little human inside of me. When I finally got to hear the heart beat I was so excited.

My pregnancy was a breeze. I only go sick a couple of times, and besides being tired I felt great. It was a long 3 months waiting for Justin to be home. I found out Jax was a boy while he was gone so I could surprise him at the airport during his Christmas visit. I mad a shirt with a football that said "Oh Boy' He was so so excited that he was a boy. We told his parents he was a boy that same day by surprising them with his arrival and my shirt. It was a fun filled day. I will never forget when I got to his moms house she was not home. So Justin waited in the living room when she came in through the kitchen. She was upset because she mailed Justins Christmas card late. When he came walking in it was the best surprise ever. When we got to his dad, his dad was waiting outside and so excited to see Justin in the back seat. His step mom came out of her room to Justin standing there and the look on her face was priceless. It was a great day. And they all found out Jax was indeed a boy.

While Jax grew and my belly got bigger we became even more excited for his arrival. We got his room done in razorback of course. Got his beg made, clothes organized. We went on many date nights which I am so thankful for. And we waited. We did go on a hike that turned into 10 miles...that was not fun and ended up with my swollen feet that night. We waited and waited. May 6th his orginal due date came and went. I had not dilated at all. So my doctor set an induction date.

That was the longest week of my life.
The day came and it was a hectic day. It started out with Corey's college graduation. Family lunch then we set off with a car full of baby stuff to Mercy. Our last car ride as a family of two.
We walked in through the ER since it was the weekend, and they took us up to my room. Asked tons of questions, did all the check in stuff. Gave me my gown and the real waiting game started. I had not eaten all day, Doctots orders so needless to say I was so hungry. The doctor came and checked me i was a whole 1.5 cm. He said I could have a milk shake and that they would start pitocin the next morning. It was the best milk shake of my entire life.

The next day was long, pitocin was started and nothing happened. ALL DAY. So that night they broke my water at 10pm and all heck broke loss. I had never felt pain like contractions in my whole life. My plan of a natural childbirth was soon to come to an end. We had already told the anesthesiologist that I did not was an epidural so he left. Needless to say I begged and begged for him to come ASAP. He did come and my pain was so much better.

I slept the best I could inbetween contractions and the next morning bright and early, on May 14th 2012 I was finally ready to push. All the family came to wait in the waiting room. Justin, his mom and my cousin Christie all prepared themselves to be in the room. I pushed and pushed and pushed for ever. Nothing. I cried when the doctor was mean, I said I just couldnt do it anymore. My father in law was so excited he kept getting in trouble for walking the halls. I thought it was adorable, the doctor kept making me made. I cried some more. And finally at 10:17 after almost 3 hours of pushing my 8lb 2oz baby boy came into this world. It was all so fast. I wanted pictures of course but everyone just stood by and watched. No one was saying anything. It turns out Jax came out blue, his cord had wrapped twice around his neck and he was not breathing. No one told me anything, i was just mad that no one had taken any pictures. Finally he was good to go. When i first saw him my heart exploded. He was so perfect in every way. Even his large alien head...His big chunchy cheeks, he big blue eyes, with eye lashes so long you could already see all of them/ I had never felt love like I had in that moment. God showed off when he made my Jax. He is my little blonde haired, blue eyed perfect little boy.
                                           
 Needless to say i was starving at the end of his birth. So thankful for all the food I ate that day. S/O to Morgan her biscuit and gravy, to Nana for the five guys burger, and Mimi and pop for the steak that night!

I cant believe that he is almost 2 years old. People have always told me it goes by fast but man does it. I still think of the days when we brought him home, all the sleepless days and nights. The problem i had nursing and thinking it was impossible. All the little moments I would just stare at him while he slept and wondered how I could be so blessed. He was a great baby. Slept great, ate great, was a total laid back little ham. The laid back part changed at 9mths old. He bacame all boy. Into everything, and and attitude like his momma. He is the light of my world. He loves bat man, and is a total chatter box. He will boss you all day long even if you dont know what he is saying. He gives the best hugs and kisses around. When he reached out to hold my hand a little piece of my heart melt with happiness. He is my little prince charming. And a total ladys man already. I can see that when he chases older girls at the park.

I cant believe that soon he wont be my only baby, that he will be a big brother. I know he will do so great with his baby sister. He will boss her and not want to share all of his toys, but I can already tell that he will protect her heart from day one.

As I watched him play with his little bat man action figure while trying to snuggle the cat today. I saw a little boy. A boy that i can only hope will be as hardworking as his dad, but still have
a sensitive side like his mom. I pray that he is humble, and that he allows God into his heart. I pray that he loves and honors his future wife. I pray that he stays so spunky and independent. He will always be my baby boy, and I hope he always gives me nose kisses.