When 3 turned into 4

The night before I went in to have Aria was the last time that I wrote. I was nervous, excited and utterly terrified of what life would be like.

So let me tell you. Life is beyond grand. Tiring but grand.

That night before was one of the toughest nights of sleep I have had. I tossed and turned. My mind racing in a million different places. When my alarm went off I jumped up and was ready to go. Christie came and stayed with Jax so he didnt have to get up so early. Away we went to get to Mercy at 6:00 am.

When we pulled in my heart just was overjoyed. I was so ready to meet my sweetpea. The induction process was routine and shortly my water got broken. The wait begain. My contractions started to get stronger and this time I knew better than to try and wait them out. I quickly got and epidural and life was so pleasant. We waited some more. Family and friends came and sat. When I hit a 6 it got much quicker.

I became very nervous. My first delivery was long hard and to be frank very scary. I was so worried that it would be a repeat of last time. Then boom I was ready. We decided not to have anyone in the room but staff. Last time it was so dramatic and fast we didnt really get to take in Jax. I wanted to really just spend a few minutes enjoying just the three of us. Once the pushing started it was easy! Yes I said EASY. A dream come true. I actually laughed and we all told stories and joked around. When they said she had dark hair I started to cry. I have always wanted a dark haired girl, a baby that looks more like my dad. I knew my parents where smiling down on us. They would love her so much!  Everything was so smooth. AT 5:55pm Aria Lee Thomas came into the world. Of course my heart grew so much more in love with her. She was perfect and oh so tiny. At 6 lb 15 oz she rocked our world. Perfect in every way. God is so so good.

Then family came in and when I saw Jax round that corner wearing his Big Brother shirt I lost it. He looked huge. He has loved his baby sister fromt he moment he laid eyes on her. He sat by me and just looked at her and had the biggest smile on his face. When she got picked up out of my lap he told them to put her back. Already so protective.

We went home the next day. Jax stayed with mimi and pop so we could try and get things in order and maybe rest.
The next day he came home and when he held her it made my heart smile. When I took her to nurse her Jax cried and cried.

It has been almost 4 weeks since we have been a family of 4. Jax still loves her. He helps so much (sometimes too much) He loves to help me burp her. And tells her its ok when she cries. He does get annoyed sometimes and tells me to put her down (in the swing) when I am nursing her and he wants to play. He also does not like when she sits in his nap nanny or when she is crying for more than just a few seconds.

Sleep was pretty rough at first. She is very gassy and her belly hurts often. She has started to get into the groove of things. Eating alot before bed and going to bed at about 830 and lately not waking up until close to 1:00 am. She then eats and either goes right back to sleep or has a belly ache, it changes nightly. Then she normally wakes 5-6am. So all in all very well.

We are blessed beyond measure. I am starting to get the hang of handing both by myself while Justin works and is at drill. We actually went out today for most of the day and it went so smooth. To have two amazing babies is beyond a blessing. I cant take the credit at all. It is all God. To sit with Aria in my arms in the same chairs that I prayed for her is the best feeling.

Embarking on new life

As I sit here 39 weeks pregnant knowing that I will be going to the hospital in just hours to be induced to meet our sweet baby girl, I am an emotional wreck. An excited emotional wreck.

For the past 2 weeks all I have thought about is having this baby. Wanting to meet her. Wanting to see my family as a family of 4 not just 3. I have walked, swam, done yoga, ate spicy foods. Many things to try and meet her. But as it is just around the corner my heart is so afraid.

For the past 2 years I have had a baby. A baby boy named Jax. He has been my light. We have played endless hours of batman, block building, reading, running around, chasing him outside. He has been everything to Justin and I. And now it will all change. In a blink of an eye.

God has blessed me with easy pregnancies. I truly am blessed. Not only that I have had easy pregnancies but that he has blessed me with having babies at all.  I sat in the chairs at church, the same ones I sit in now, and I prayed and poured my heart out that God would bless us with a Daughter. My promise was that I would give her back to him, that I would raise her in a home where God is most important. He delivered and then some. I have felt great. I have done things as normal for myself like always. I even painted my toes tonight....not easily but I did it. This pregnancy has been way different though. The past couple of weeks I have felt more pressure than I ever did with Jax. I had a week of bad sleep...I know i cant complain. Its still overwhelming knowing that a tiny human that has been apart of your body will be out and in your arms anytime. Again, God is so good.

How do I feel?

Im nervous. How will Jax respond? I know he will be confused for a few days, I also know that he will love his baby sister so much once he realizes what and who she is.
Im nervous. I have loved Aria since the moment I knew she was apart of me, but its crazy to think that I can love 2 children as much as I love Jax. When I first felt her move my love grew so much for her. It is still crazy to think that a heart has enough love for a husband, and 2 babies.
Im nervous. I know it will be so much harder with 2 than with 1. I know I can and will do it but man am I already wondering how parents of multiple babies have any routine.

Im excited. Finally all the wonder of what will she look like. How big is she? Will she have hair? Will she look like her brother? It will all be answered. All in a blink of an eye all the questions have been wondering for so long will be answered. Man God is good.
Im excited. I will not only have a wild boys boy, but a tiny little princess girl. How lucky am I.
Im excited.

I pray she grows to be humble, smart, and tough. I pray she knows just how much her family loves her. I pray she Loves god above all else.

Well its time for a night of restless sleep, and time for me to go and give Jax a million kisses and get teary while i check on him sleeping (again) Next time I write I will be a mother of 2.....how crazy is that!