Letting go and being free

         This past Sunday at Church it was Bikers Sunday. We have an amazing Motorcycle Club at our Church that does so much for the community. One of the biggest events they do is work Bikes Blues and BBQ. A huge motorcycle rally in Northwest Arkansas. They pour their hearts into it every year. They tell the gospel, give out waters and truly let their love for Jesus show.

         Every Sunday before Bikes and Blues we have Bikers Sunday. The founder and leader of the club  Pastor Jimmy and his wife Peggy will do the message during service. They have always done such a great job but yesterday really spoke to me. It spoke to me so much that I decided to open my blog which has sat stagnant for far too long.

         They spoke a message on Fear, Anger, Un-Forgiveness and Imagination. What I am going to go over is what I learned. I feel like not only Christians need to work on these things but every soul on this planet we call home need to work on these four things. I feel like people really believe that their feelings are the only feelings that matter. I wrote so much of the message down on Sunday that I decided I would share. Maybe, just maybe someone will let go of something they have held onto for way too long.

We are all souls in a fleshly body. Every soul seeks something to fulfill it. As a Christian I should seek the Lord to fulfill my soul and my life. So many times I let these four things into my soul and it affects every aspect of my life. It affects my heart, my family, my friends and my mind.

1. Fear
Fear is having faith in a negative way. We have faith that something bad will happen. We have faith that nothing will go our way. We have faith in all the wrong things. Our souls get into the flight or flight mode. So often our fear can lead us too rushing to conclusions.  As a Mom I could easily live a life of being fearful. The world is a scary place. Its easy to allow my mind to go to places and situations that possibly could happen. It would be easy to put my children in bubbles and not let them experience life. Its easy to think of all the darkness and want to never leave my house. As a Christian this is a passage that I should hold in my heart and speak over my children and over my fearful thoughts. Psalms 1:1-16

91 He who dwells in athe shelter of the Most High

will abide in bthe shadow of the Almighty.

2  I will say1 to the Lord, “My crefuge and my dfortress,

my God, in whom I etrust.”

3  For he will deliver you from fthe snare of the fowler

and from the deadly pestilence.

4  He will gcover you with his pinions,

and under his hwings you will ifind refuge;

his jfaithfulness is ka shield and buckler.

5  lYou will not fear mthe terror of the night,

nor the arrow that flies by day,

6  nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness,

nor the destruction that wastes at noonday.

7  A thousand may fall at your side,

ten thousand at your right hand,

but it will not come near you.

8  You will only look with your eyes

and nsee the recompense of the wicked.

9  Because you have made the Lord your odwelling place—

the Most High, who is my crefuge2—

10  pno evil shall be allowed to befall you,

qno plague come near your tent.

11  rFor he will command his sangels concerning you

to tguard you in all your ways.

12  On their hands they will bear you up,

lest you ustrike your foot against a stone.

13  You will tread on vthe lion and the wadder;

the young lion and xthe serpent you will ytrample underfoot.

14  “Because he zholds fast to me in love, I will deliver him;

I will protect him, because he aknows my name.

15  When he bcalls to me, I will answer him;

I will be with him in trouble;

I will rescue him and chonor him.

16  With dlong life I will satisfy him

and eshow him my salvation.”

I need to let go of the fear I hold onto. I need to allow life to happen as the Lord has planned. I need to be happy and live in the present not the "maybe could' or "what if's". Life is precious thing and I want to enjoy every moment as it happens. Bad things will happen but no matter how far you get knocked down the Lord will be there to allow you rise up. I like to say rising from the ashes of pain only makes you a shinier diamond. ( I must be a shiny diamond ) :)

2. Anger and unforgiveness
These two things go hand in hand. We allow anger to eat at us to the point of hate. To the point of no return. We let it lead our thoughts and take over our hearts. We try to convince ourselves that our anger is justified. When someone does something wrong to us we feel like our anger and hate is allowed because its us that was wronged. As a Mom I could easily get very angry at someone if they did something to Jax or Aria. I have to realize that I have to let go of that anger. I love my family dearly but anger and unforgiveness have completely torn it apart. I'm thankful that I am both like my Mom and Dad. My Mom would hold a grudge literally forever and my Dad forgave and forgave. I definitely took after my Dad on this one. It saddens me that my family is so torn but I can do nothing but love everyone and pray. Things happened that where wrong and things said that was hurtful and heart piercing but my heart forgives. I realized about 6 years ago that I have to let go and love everyone. I cant let that anger and unforgiveness be with me forever.
As a Christian I have sinned on more accounts than I can say. I have done things that are shameful. I have not been perfect. No one is perfect. Jesus died for those sins. When I asked for forgiveness he gave it with no questions asked.
Matthew 6: 14-15 "For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."
So how is it that I expect to be forgiven for every sin I commit but not do the same for anyone else. I have gotten so angry that my blood boils and I shake. I get this feeling that I think is the same feeling Hulk gets when he turns into Hulk. Its something I deal with on a daily basis. I mean don't go to gator golf with me... Its not something I am proud of but I have learned to let it go. I can't continue to be mad at someone or something and expect them to forgive me when I do wrong.  That is not how this works. We need to let go of the hurt that has been eating at us.. We need to let go of the entitlement we have that our right is the only right.  We have to lay it down at the cross and not take it with us when we get up. We need to forgive those that haven't even asked for forgiveness. I have had things done to me and have lived a life that being bitter and angry could easily have taken over my life. I couldn't let that happen. We have to pray. Not only pray but listen to the answer. So often Christians feel let down because we pray and pray but we don't have the patience to get the answer. It may not be the answer we always want but its the answer we need. Sometimes He will want us to reach out and say ' I forgive you and I love you and the past is the past"  He may want us to do it through letter, email or maybe He is wanting us to do it face to face. We are made in his image. I don't think his image is a grumpy, grudge holding, judgmental person. Letting go of anger is freeing yourself from a weight we may not even know we've been carrying.
Life is too beautiful to not share it. Life is too short to be full of hate and bitterness. Our hearts cant handle being angry forever. I really think that the weight of that anger affects our physical body. It can drag it down and make our whole body hurt. Letting it go can free yourself of pain.

3. Imagination
This is something that can turn something so tiny into something so large. It can cause marriages to be torn. Friendships to be lost.  It can cause lies to be told. Sin starts in the mind. We think of something and it can grow and grow until one day we wake up and have done what was only an "innocent" thought. We can sit and imagine something bad happen and then we let fear and imagination turn something that hasn't happened into a reality in our hearts. We need to fill our thoughts with happiness. We need to allow ourselves to be free and full of love.

      Allowing ourselves to be free from these four things can lead to a life of healing. It can allow our hearts to be free from darkness. I can proudly say that I hate no one. I may not want to spend quality time with some people but my heart is free from hate. Look to the Lord and allow Him to free you of hurt and pain. Its a very simple thing. Talk to him, PRAY. He listens and he answers. Be patient and know that you are loved, even in the darkness you may be in. Never give up. Pray and pray and pray.

Pray for our Church's bikers ministry as they go out and minister and speak their hearts during Bikes and Blues. Pray for the cyclists as they travel too and from the events. Its a busy week and the Lord works wonders.

        

Road Trippin

Myself, Jax, Aria and my cousins Dawson and Preslie took a little road trip to Colorado Springs area over spring break. We went to visit my aunt their nana and my cousin Erik and his four kids. It was a great time. The actual driving wasn't as bad as I thought it would be with 2 little ones. The key.....movie player and food....lots of food. We had a whole box of food for Jax to eat. And Im pretty sure he ate and ate and ate. We left at around 3am and drove straight the whole way. Well I drove the whole way.

Besides visit with family we went to Garden of the Gods which was so much fun. Jax was totally of his normal schedule and didn't nap at all. So he was more difficult than I was hoping. He wasn't in the best of moods at garden of the gods but he had moments of pure joy. It was fun...although not the best decision to take my stroller on the hiking trails.....

We also went to Cave of the Winds which again Jax was tired and slightly grumpy but it was so cool and view was amazing. Aria slept pretty much the whole time in the carrier. My back was not so happy lol. Preslie did a ropes course and zip line that she enjoyed. Jax and Layla did a big box maze and Jax got his head stuck in a whole....which was totally stressful because it truly was stuck. I had to take Aria off in a jiffy and climb in and literally pull his head out. The whole I was thinking I would have to call someone to deconstruct the whole thing to get him out. \He loved playing in the water sifting for rocks.

My favorite moment of the whole trip though would have to be the night all of my little cousins and I stayed up really late talking, telling stories and laughing. It was such a sweet moment and will be a memory forever. I also really enjoyed watching walking dead with Erik and having the mortal combat night with Erik Dawson and Preslie. Such sweet memories. Nothing is better than cousin time. I wish we could see them more! It was a great trip overall!

LIfe as I know it

Life as I know it changes daily. Weekly. Yearly. One thing that doesn't change is work ethic.

My dad was the hardest worker I have ever met. He taught me so much without every saying a word about work ethic. He taught me by example. I saw him get up before dawn and go to a job that he worked at for 25 years. He never called in sick and he worked hard every single day. He worked at Campbell Soup. He wasn't the CEO. He wasn't the manager. He wasn't a "big wig" as he we would say. He was just hard worker. He was known as a jokester and loved to make his employees laugh. I like to think I learned that from him also.  It was not a lavish job, it wasn't a job that made him rich. It was a job though and he taught me that no matter what your job is that you should take pride in it. He instilled in me that if you are scrubbing floors or a CEO of a corporation that you should always work hard and strive to be the best at what you are doing. We work to pay bills and we work to make a life for ourselves. I believe that my generation especially wants to  make as much money as possible with doing as little work as possible. I mean don't get me wrong that would be awesome to make a ton of money doing hardly anything but its not reality. To be successful to me is not about how much money one makes but how well you do the job. You can be a rich CEO and not be successful. You can also be a janitor and be completely successful. Life is what you make it and I wish that more people would realize this. Happiness isn't money. Happiness is smiles from your family, memories with them and knowing that no matter what your job is that the little kids waiting on you at home love you no matter what. Having family to me is having the most successful life there is.

I wish that I could thank my dad for teaching me what he did. I owe him so much and wouldn't be the person I am today without him.

Weather and Arias First zoo Trip

Can I just say while I am sitting here on our 2nd snow day I am missing the wonderful weather we have been having.

It has been like spring the last few weeks and it has been so great. So great in fact that we decided to play outside a TON and one day we went to the Tulsa Zoo. We are so blessed to be able to get out of house and explore and have so much fun as a family!

Jax LOVED the monkeys so much. One came up to him and put his face right up to his and it totally freaked him out but he thought it was hilarious at the same time. Although his favorite thing ever is fish. So he is just content at Petsmart lol! Aria was so good the whole time until she got tired but once she gave up and slept she didn't make a peep. We packed a lunch and ate and Jax got to feed a goose a piece of bread which I think made his day. We looked at every thing and had such a good time. It was a beautiful day and super laid back. It was a Monday so only a handful of people where there. It was a perfect day. We are already planning our next zoo trip which will be to the Kansas zoo.

Now as much as I love the snow I would trade it in for the perfect spring weather any day!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is just some more Outside Pictures